and i was in candy cane "panties"

The song "it's been the WORST day, since yesterday" came to mind this evening as what was the most disastrous trip to the chinn aquatics center took place. I must prelude this by saying...it is NOT in fact the worst day, as all of my kids are healthy, and i'm fortunate that they are healthy enough to cause this much strife..i do know this.
now, to go on.
It had started off as a bad day, at approx 4:00 this morning when parker and andie were tag teaming me from screams from their bedroom. I especially appreciated the random screams from andie claiming she couldnt lay down because of all the fuzzy bugs in her bed. It didn't get much better when she woke up whining at 6;15 over nothing. It had been a rough morning at walk n roll, with colin and andie antagonizing one another the entire hour and andie squeezing parker's feet over and over as he attempted to sleep. I was pretty much over the day around 11:00 am. REady to pack it in. But it was long from over, and my patience was far from in tact.

I don't know why i thought that taking all three of my children to colin's swim lesson was a good idea, or even possible, but i decided to do so rather than ask a friend to watch andie again. That was mistake number one. from now on, i will be taking all help all the time. She starts crying about not being able to swim from the moment i told them to get ready to go to colin's swim lesson. I bribed her. I bribed her with a lollipop if she'd just stop crying and behave herself. It worked! For 11 minutes.

We pull into the parking lot, and it's hotter than the devil in mexico outside. I have 17lb +parker in his car seat slung over my left arm, colin's swim bag over my right, andie's hand in my hand and colin attached to her as we hike from our distant parking spot to the front door. I'm now drenched in sweat, i had just showered. It takes us approximately 10 minutes just to go down a flight of stairs to the pool area. It was truly like herding goats. As soon as we get down there, and i set the baby down, try to get organized and ready to take a seat, colin needs to pee. So, up we all go to the bathroom. We come back out, and i again, get everything settled. Parker is now sending up his warning flares that he wants out. I had brought him a package of baby blended carrots to feed him since this is during his dinner time. I just open the lid and andie shouts "i gotta pee i gotta pee!!!!". so yep, up we all go again, and i manage to hold parker and get andie on the potty etc. Again, back out. I head to the seating area once again. at this point andie is crying again, how "i must go swimming, i need to swim mom" over and over. I'm bribing her with ther baby doll, im bribing her with allowing her to help feed parker. she resolved to just throw her baby over and over on the floor and pick her up then launch her, and pick her up over and over. Then, it gets even more interesting...they put the kids in life jackets and plop them in the water and have the float on their back. Colin did NOT like this. he started flipping out screaming HELP HELP!!! meanwhile, there are 3 instructors in the water right around him. and, he was fine by the way. so then he starts screaming i need mommy! i need my mommy! so i pick parker up in the left arm, andie up in the right arm and and trek over to the side of the pool to where colin was, he lunges out of the water sreaming hysterically and pulls on my shorts, and they drop to my knees. Yes my knees. And i am wearing Christmas candy cane underwear because who'd have thought i'd be showing my underwear to anyone let alone an entire aquatic center full of people?!? So if you can picture me holding both younger kids, pants at my knees and one dripping in water, with a life jacket on screaming that was IT! But it gets better, he starts yelling "i have to pee i have to pee" so i pull up my pants and now we are quickly walking towards the bathroom when he pees himself accidentally and then starts having a breakdown about it "ooooh nooooo i've just peed my pants!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH i've peed my pants!". once i get him under control and into the dressing room, i decide it is best appropriate at this point to pack up our things and go. There's no saving this day. the BEST part!? we have to face these people again tomorrow night! but you can be DARN sure i won't have all three!! NEVER.AGAIN.
Oh, and my other half?!? he's in texas, practicing emergency tracheotomys on pigs in preperation for deployment...did i mention he majored in political science?!?!?!?