Goodbye 2011!

Time to reflect on the past year and move on to the next. 2011 was a year of challenges, blessings, and growth! 2011 was a beautiful one in that I got to see Parker grow fom a 2 week old to a 1 year old and that first year is always magical in it's own way. Not to say i havn't spent many nights up and down feeding a baby and days juggling 3 young kids, but overall it can't be matched as good things add up. I consider myself blessed to have been able to spend time with my kids.
Also, I spent the majority of the year (36 weeks out of 52) without matt. So i've spent a lot of time with just the 3 kiddos. It's not all bad though. For instance, I learned that I can mow the lawn with a baby strapped to my chest...bathe 3 kids at one time, put together an array of furniture and equipment, minor car care, loading a Christmas tree on the roof of a car myself, taking down said tree, cook while having a baby attached to my leg, and i also learned that when I'm in single mom mode i'm also not very tolerant of crappy customer service or people that treat me or my children with less than respect, so i've also told quite a few people off in the past year. Some may not see that as "growth", but i do. (and really, northern virginia is really dissapointing with it's lack of nice people in business places).
Also, thanks to good friends and family, I was able to train for and run a 1/2 marathon which was a much needed stress outlet and "me time" over the past year. I also was able to build upon my photography business a bit, and grow walk n roll. THat is until potomac mills decided to sign stroller strides at the end of december. But i digress.
Colin has grown so much in the past year. He thinks he's a little man now, and often tells me he is apart of the "grown up village" now. While I tell him that in fact he is still just a child, i can see why he may think so as I have depended upon him to do a few more things independantly this past year when i had my hands (or breasts) full with the other kid. Hes really good at feeding the dog and letting him in and out, getting his own drinks and snacks and sometimes breakfast, getting dressed by himself, and getting and grabbing random things i may need around the house (or in my car). He still LOVES his kid stuff though. Very big into everything imaginext and loves pretending with his little action figures. Especialy his castles, batcaves and space ships. lets not forget TV. Yes, he loves the tv what can i say. He even knows what channel he watches and how to get to it (no it's not MTV). I try to limit it when i can. In 2012 colin wants to do gymnastics "so that i can jump over laser beams, and flip over walls". But of course...that's usually why people want to do that right??
Andie has grown into her own fantasy world this year. She has QUITE the vocabulary and sass...but she also just loves to pretend she's surrounded by fairies and princesses and babies. I'd like to just live in her world for 1 minute. She LOOOVES her dance class. She started dance in September and she looks forward to it all week long, and i must say, she's pretty darn good at it for a young 3 year old! She loves all the girls in her class and her teacher.
Parker has gone from a tiny gassy, excema ridden newborn to a walking, babbling, sweet baby boy! He likes his baby toy, but LOVES his brother's toys much better. He likes to hold onto sticks and long spoons far more than any other toys, and second to that is colin's little imaginext figurines. I have a room full of fun, developemental, age appropriate toys for him, but he just wants a spoon and a batman and he's good to go.
We're looking forward to having matt back in 2012, and doing a ton of awesome family oriented things like Disney World in February, trips to the beach, "exploring in the woods" etc. Colin did say that he will be informing daddy that he will now be sleeping downstairs in the basement since I have adjusted to sleeping alone in the king sized bed. I can't say that i'm totally against that...i like where his head is at!
welcome 2012!

I"M NOT AN ELF!!!!!!!!!!

It's that time of year...the time when all for the joy of the children of thy womb I buy wooden pieces of crap that need to be put together with either 1 million screws, or wooden pieces that should "click" together.
Im beginning to think that the toy companies write the assembly directions either A) when they are highly intoxicated or B) just to play mind games with the consumer.
Tonight, Imaginarium has now stepped forward to win the spot for the WORST craftsmenship and assembly directions I have ever seen! They drilled holes too small, the screws were all stripped, the wood busted in parts, and the best part: Some instructions were written backwards! If it weren't for the picture of shear joy on my son's face playing in my head, i would have taken the 1 million pieces of ply wood, and punted it off an enbankment.

You know, i read all the time where parents sit down with a glass of wine before cracking into a box of assembly toys. Had i been drinking, it A) would have never gotten together and B) i would have decided to set it on fire.

I also put together a mellissa and Doug Grocery store stand. I will like to give a round of applause to that company for STURDY craftmenship, ease of directions and an astounding manual. Assemble time of grocer stand: 20 minutes Assemble time of Fire House/Police Station crack house... 2 hours, 14 minutes.

Tomorrow night on the schedule, is another imaginarium product, this time for andie...a doll house. I peaked inside. there are 2 full pages of full hardward materials listed.

The night of the 22nd, I will then begin the process of cutting, sawing, and unscrewing products from their boxes till my fingers bleed. On course: bat cave, pirate ship, baby doll, musical toys for parker, barbie dolls, and transformers. This is why who ever developed santa from ST. Nicholas, decided he HAS to have sla...i mean elves to do the work. Santa may be able to deliver 1 million toys in one night, be he sure as shit aint prepping them in 1 night!

don't piss off your trainer

It's December, and do you know what that means?!? It means everyone throws their fitness plans out the window and craps on their trainer because "i'm busy, it's the holiday season".

December is notoriously a TERRIBLE month for the fitness industry because it's the month where everyone eats like crazy, throws all ambition out the window because "i'll start that lose weight/fitness thing for a new year resolution". Well i have something to say:
GET TO THE GYM

top 5 things that piss off your personal trainer:

5) Don't kill me, i'm tired, it has been a long day.
YOU'VE HAD A LONG DAY!?!?!?! I was up at 12, 3:20, 5:00, 5:45, and finally 6:00 am took care of 3 kids all day, ran an exercise class, did some sit ups while feeding the baby lunch, and now i have to stick those 3 kids in a germ pit for an hour so that I can better your life, get you in shape. AND YOU TELL ME TO TAKE IT EASY ON YOU!?!? No, i will NOT take it easy on you because my job is to make you better, not allow your weakness to take over this hour of my day.

4)** 5 minutes before planned training session ** "I can't make it, i'm running late at work"

We all know that you aren't really running late at work. IT's more likely that you've decided that you don't FEEL like working out today. I've re-aranged my entire day to be here for YOU. I have a better idea than you missing your session...RUN HERE FROM WORK.

3) "my (insert boday part ie: back, calf, ankle, elbow, kidney, gall bladder) is hurting today,i think i pulled it knitting or something"
no you didn't. You aren't hurting, you're just hoping that you don't hurt when you leave here. YOU PAID ME TO WORK YOU OUT...let me do my job.

2) as they are sweating alcohol "yeah, i had a bit of a late night"
Make that THREE consecutive minutes of burpees...add on a few sprints...finish it off with 50 decline sit ups. I havn't had alcohol in about 3 months...i don't wish to recieve my only bit of alcohol in form of leaking out of your pours raunchy vapor. could you NOT drink your weight in liquor 5 hours before your training session?

1) THE NO SHOW
oh no you didn't! I could be doing 1 million different things at this time than to be at the gym waiting on someone that NEVER shows. that's my session now...click.

that's all! Merry Christmas!
Here's to new years resolutions! CHeers!

my baby parker!

So, this post was supposed to have happened on the 7th...but alas I have been crazy busy with kid life and am just getting to it.

This is all about Parker Jay Olsen!

In case not everyone knows...parker was a "we'll try for 1 month" baby. If it happened, it happened and if not we'd be happy with Colin and Andie. Well, as we all know along came Parker! This told me this child was really meant to be...so i knew he would be special!

Parker's first year has been unique for many reasons...but one that sticks out first is that 8 months of his first year it has just been me and the kids. When Parker was born i was instantly in love wth him. I had no baby blues, I had no apprehension it was just bliss. The other 2 kids loved him and I felt so lucky to be in my shoes. That being said...i'd be lieing if i didn't feel like i was drowning the first few weeks. Which brought me to the dreaded feeling of having to raise these 3 young kids without a husband for most of the year. What actually happened came to a surprise to me. Parker really saved me during these long months. He has brought such happiness and love and the time spent raising him has been the best thing for me during this time.

Parker is what i would call the "runt" of the kids...he has always been in he 50% for size when my other 2 were always so big for age. But this kid is FEISTY. He's feisty, he has a temper, and he has an amazing way of loving too. He likes to climb, leap, fall over, he does everything FULL FORCE. He also loves to be held, cuddled, and just be close. He absolutely LOVES his brother and sister and tries to replicate everything that they do...already. Andie can just walk into the room and parker's face lights up. He wants to follow them everywhere. He doesn't like it if they are playing somewhere that he can't get too. I'm having so much fun watching the relationship between the kids. It was so hard for me to imagine a 3rd when Colin and Andie seemed like the perfect kids...but now (as cliched as it sounds) I can't imagine our family without him. I'm loving every minute of time with parker as a 1 year old...if only i could freeze time :)

It has been an amazing year with him, and i can't wait to see what comes next!

DIE fruit flies DIE!

Just want to take a moment, to give a brief notation on how to kill fruit flies since apparently my house is their new embassy and has been for 2 weeks. I've read so many tutorials online, and they are all a joke. Here's the REAL list.

Top 10 ways to kill a fruit fly:

10) Rifle...don't recommend...only puts a big hole in your wall, and the fruit fly gets out of the way too quickly. Said new hole in wall only makes a pathway for more fruit flys to enter your home.

9) Baseball Bat - nah...don't be tempted. Even though it seems like a good idea when a group of them are sitting on your counter, it will ONLY damage the counter and fruit flies will miraculously remain UNHARMED. As a matter of fact, if anything it scares baby fruit flies right out of momma frui fly's hoo-has.

8) Drown them with the hose - i'm telling you, they are resilient. While this will probably help to clean off some of your walls, and may even give the dog a bath...fruit flies will NOT be drowned mid air by a flushing of 100 mph water. if anything it just gives them a new environment to breed...nothing like fruit fly sex in a shower.

7) Banging them with your shoe - you will end up maybe killing 1 or 2 out of 100,000, but that footprint it leaves on your cabinets will take you an exhausting amount of time to clean up.

6) Shooing them into the microwave and nuking - don't do it...it takes too long to breeze them in there, and then you only really radiate a couple at a time and then you have a mess to clean up.

5) Going postal with a can of Raid - picture screaming AAHAHAHAHAHAH suckers DIE! and the cloud of chemical beast that outpours. It will kill about 5 - 10...along with severl of your own braincells and stink up your whole house. You'll want to punch your wall when 10 minutes later it seems twice the amount of fruit fly's are back in the same place.

4) The mid air jump and clap - in the off chance that you actually smack a sucker between your hands rather than just blowing it away with your the airflow you create, you'll probably just cramp and hurt your hand from the force and end up with a splotch of 1 fruit fly blood and wing matter on your hands. And who really want's that when you have an army of about 60,000 more to go?

3) Glass of red wine sitting on your counter - after several ours of watching your glass of red wine only drown 2 fruit flies and intoxicate a few others, you'll want to drown your own sorrows into that cup of wine, which was probably the last you had in the house. Not worth the waste of a perfectly good glass of wine.

2) Apple sider vinegar in a cup with saran wrap over and a few holes poked in wrap - NOW we're getting somewhere. You will probably attract an entire colony of fruit flies with this trap. This is not a bad way to go, except for the fact that it takes a long time and you'll end up with about 45 stupid ones that will remain on top of the wrap because they can't figure out how to get through the tiny holes, and then when you go near the cup tey all fly up in the air and laugh at you as you start to cry.

1) Jar, with a piece of decaying banana, apple cider vinegar, soap and a paper funnel leadin ginto the jar - PERFECTION!!!!!! you will catch so many you will be utterly disgusted. How did you have 50,000 fruit flies in your house?!?!?! You don't CARE! because they are now in your jar, DEAD! and you LAUGH! Until the next morning, when you get up and realize that, that jar actually attracted neighboring fruit flies from the counties surrounding you, and now your house has about 150,678 more fruit flies knocking down your door to get it.

My suggestion: Make some adobo with your apple cider vinegar, Drink a vat of red wine, sit on your porch with your rifle in one hand, bat in the other, hose down your neighbors as they drive by and raid some grasshoppers. You'll save yourself the frustration and at least you'll be outside without a care in the world as the fruit flies are making themselves comfortable in your bed.

what goes bump in the night

so, as if my days weren't interesting enough, i never know what each night is going to bring. There used to be nights (a LONG time ago...think many many years) where I could for the most part at least predict what th night would bring. Not so much now.

As of late, we've added earthquake, hurricaine, ghost (or hallucination) to things that wake me up in the middle of the night. In case Child 1, 2, baby 3 or large barking dog weren't enough. BUT the most interesting, surprising, and unpredictable yet is colin's sleep walking. He started this a couple months ago...right around the time matt left. It took a couple times of this going on until i realized that he was definately 100% asleep. Some nights he comes flying like a bat out of hell screaming at the top of his lungs sobbing "MOOOOMMMMM! MOOMMMYYYYY!!!" and it scares the crap out of me when i'm dead asleep, and when i try to talk to him, he's completely out...it's so bizarre. it usually just ends in my walking him back to his bed and re-tucking him in. To him, it's as if it never happened. He doesn't recall these episodes at all in the morning. Sometimes this happens more than once per night. Sometimes I find him in the bathroom wandering around crying, (asleep), other times he tiptoes into my room as quiet as can be and i don't realize he's there till he touches me (insert FREAKY). almost every night he enters my bedroom at some point as when i get up in the early morning hours for baby 3 i found that my door has been opened. Now, for awhile i wasn't sure if he was awake and doing this and then would decide not to wake me up and go back to bed OR sleep walking. But after last night's episode i'm now sure it's sleep walking. I just so happened to be still awake in my bed watching t.v. when he, as QUIET as could be, opened his door, walked down the hall, opened my door gently, and with a pouty face on came walking straight for my bed, climbed up the bench at the foot of the bed and got right into bed with me curled up and was OUT. I tried talking to him, but no answer, just looked SAD. It begs the question...how long is he actually in my bedroom for when he does this when i'm asleep? and WHAT is he doing?! I need a video camera or something! Luckily (or not...we'll see) I have a gate at the top of my steps and i arm my alarm system downstairs so that if he should wander down there the alarm will go off and at least i'll know he's down there. BUt i can't wait for that day when i thin there's someone robbing my house but n fact will be colin. And we all know it's only a matter of time. I'll be able to add "house alarm" to things waking me up in the middle of the night. Some might say it will be easier for me when matt returns...but he adds is own array of night waking to the table to include sleep talking/sitting up/acting out things. He once walked around the bed carrying a pillow and told me "here's the baby jena...he needs fed"...i could have smacked him since i' already getting up enough with the REAL thing...now i need to feed pillows too.

Anyway...the saga continues...the question is....what does tonight bring??

a DECADE! AH!

fun lil' shot from halloween party via 2009

Pregnant with Parker

days before i had Andie

my wedding day :)

aaa yes...20 years old...spring break...tennis team miami...

Today is my 30th birthday and so i decided to blog about, well ME! :)

I was running on the treadmill and thinking about what a difference 10 years makes. 10 years ago i was about to be a junior in college at pitt. I remember that year being a particularly good year...i trained hard and worked my way up to the number 3 spot on the pitt tennis team...and had a great year in college. But that all pails in comparison to what happend the next 10 years.

In that 10 years I graduated college, got a masters degree, moved 8 times to include 5 different states...got married, changed jobs 3 times, bought 2 houses, started my own business (albeit a very small business...but i think of jerry maguire...may be just a few girls, but i give a lot of heart to those that are there), went through 2 deployments of husband being gone, (charging through the 3rd now) made a ton of friends all over the country, lost a couple of very special family members, have grown about 25 gray hairs and somewhere in there still managed the time to have 3 beautiful children, each born in a different state!

There are definately things that stick out in my mind...and some of the hard times like matt's deployment in 2005, i can clearly remember every detail about the day he left (LONG day), and all the people around us (some of which tragically never made it back), and the buidling that held all of us as we said our goodbyes right before they boarded the busses. I remember walking away with whom would soon become some of my great friends. The day of one of matt's friend's funeral that died in iraq...i also have very vivid memories of everything about that day. And then the passing of my Grandmothers.

But the great times far exceed the sad. I've gotten the chance to live in beautiful colorado springs and hike up some of the most gorgeous mountains, work with some of the best people a girl could ask for (who also so happend to become some of my best friends), live in the high desert and get to experience tombstone, and meet some incredible people. Some of the best days were my graduations, matt's homecomings, the day i got proposed too, our wedding day, the honeymoon, buying our first house...but nothing comes close to the birth of our 3 kids, those 3 days will forever be the best days in my life. It's totally cliche...but i feel like those 3 days were definately gifts from God...and so are my kids.

While i feel that right now, my children are probaby the biggest part of my life and consumes a lot of who I am and what i do, i dont' feel that they alone define me. I still have an inner athlete that just wants to get out and compete, a musician that wants to just sit down for a couple hours and play the piano, a student that would love to learn more and learn new fields of study, a trainer/physiologist, a friend, and a traveler who just so happens to not get to travel much, and deep DEEP down inside a girl that likes to party (4 years of pregnancy and nursing kind of suppresses that. :) ) But i wouldn't trade this life in...i have 3 of the funniest, loving kids i know...and they keep me going.

It will be interesting what the next 10 years bring...hard to believe at 40 I will have a 10, 12, and 14 year old child. AH!

and i was in candy cane "panties"

The song "it's been the WORST day, since yesterday" came to mind this evening as what was the most disastrous trip to the chinn aquatics center took place. I must prelude this by saying...it is NOT in fact the worst day, as all of my kids are healthy, and i'm fortunate that they are healthy enough to cause this much strife..i do know this.
now, to go on.
It had started off as a bad day, at approx 4:00 this morning when parker and andie were tag teaming me from screams from their bedroom. I especially appreciated the random screams from andie claiming she couldnt lay down because of all the fuzzy bugs in her bed. It didn't get much better when she woke up whining at 6;15 over nothing. It had been a rough morning at walk n roll, with colin and andie antagonizing one another the entire hour and andie squeezing parker's feet over and over as he attempted to sleep. I was pretty much over the day around 11:00 am. REady to pack it in. But it was long from over, and my patience was far from in tact.

I don't know why i thought that taking all three of my children to colin's swim lesson was a good idea, or even possible, but i decided to do so rather than ask a friend to watch andie again. That was mistake number one. from now on, i will be taking all help all the time. She starts crying about not being able to swim from the moment i told them to get ready to go to colin's swim lesson. I bribed her. I bribed her with a lollipop if she'd just stop crying and behave herself. It worked! For 11 minutes.

We pull into the parking lot, and it's hotter than the devil in mexico outside. I have 17lb +parker in his car seat slung over my left arm, colin's swim bag over my right, andie's hand in my hand and colin attached to her as we hike from our distant parking spot to the front door. I'm now drenched in sweat, i had just showered. It takes us approximately 10 minutes just to go down a flight of stairs to the pool area. It was truly like herding goats. As soon as we get down there, and i set the baby down, try to get organized and ready to take a seat, colin needs to pee. So, up we all go to the bathroom. We come back out, and i again, get everything settled. Parker is now sending up his warning flares that he wants out. I had brought him a package of baby blended carrots to feed him since this is during his dinner time. I just open the lid and andie shouts "i gotta pee i gotta pee!!!!". so yep, up we all go again, and i manage to hold parker and get andie on the potty etc. Again, back out. I head to the seating area once again. at this point andie is crying again, how "i must go swimming, i need to swim mom" over and over. I'm bribing her with ther baby doll, im bribing her with allowing her to help feed parker. she resolved to just throw her baby over and over on the floor and pick her up then launch her, and pick her up over and over. Then, it gets even more interesting...they put the kids in life jackets and plop them in the water and have the float on their back. Colin did NOT like this. he started flipping out screaming HELP HELP!!! meanwhile, there are 3 instructors in the water right around him. and, he was fine by the way. so then he starts screaming i need mommy! i need my mommy! so i pick parker up in the left arm, andie up in the right arm and and trek over to the side of the pool to where colin was, he lunges out of the water sreaming hysterically and pulls on my shorts, and they drop to my knees. Yes my knees. And i am wearing Christmas candy cane underwear because who'd have thought i'd be showing my underwear to anyone let alone an entire aquatic center full of people?!? So if you can picture me holding both younger kids, pants at my knees and one dripping in water, with a life jacket on screaming that was IT! But it gets better, he starts yelling "i have to pee i have to pee" so i pull up my pants and now we are quickly walking towards the bathroom when he pees himself accidentally and then starts having a breakdown about it "ooooh nooooo i've just peed my pants!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH i've peed my pants!". once i get him under control and into the dressing room, i decide it is best appropriate at this point to pack up our things and go. There's no saving this day. the BEST part!? we have to face these people again tomorrow night! but you can be DARN sure i won't have all three!! NEVER.AGAIN.
Oh, and my other half?!? he's in texas, practicing emergency tracheotomys on pigs in preperation for deployment...did i mention he majored in political science?!?!?!?

i'm making my own list.

That's right, i feel that i now have the ability to create the "Before I had kids..." list...the things that I felt/thought i'd never do before i actually had kids myself. I think the culminating moment was the other day, as i was driving myself and the 3 kids back to virginia from PA in the blue beast (mini-van...hmph...that will make the list by the way). All is going, pretty well, all things considered on the trip back. baby took a nap, colin took a nap, andie was watching a movie...and then, the preverbial shit hit the fan. About an hour out, what seems all at once, the baby starts screaming bloody murder (clearly i'm late serving him his lunch), colin is yelling "i have to pee, i have to pee, i have to go NOOWWW" over and over as i'm on the interstate and then i hear the little tiny, girly, angelic voice from andie say "oh, i already pooped in my pants" with a giant smile on her face. That's right folks...boy am i in a pickle, i have a 5 month old who wants fed, from my body parts none the less, a 4 year old who is threatening to "i'm going to pee on andie if we don't stop soon!!!", and then the 2.5 year old who decided to rather than tell me she had to go, she'd just poop where she sat and go on with the trip. So, I drive my circus on wheels to the nearest mcdonalds off an exit i can find. I don't know why i chose a mcdonalds, it just seemed like where i should go if i have a hungry baby, a child that's about to urinate on his sister, and a girl that has pooped smeared on her bottom. I pull into the parking lot, parker still screaming, andie still smiling, and colin JUMPS out of his seat, opens the van door and runs to the side of my car and in a crowded McDonalds parking lot at lunch time drops his pants to the ground and urinates. I'm screaming "pull your pants up! pull your pants up!" and parker is screaming and i'm now trying to undress and de-contaminate andie's lower half. Boy did i get some looks, and it is one of the few times where i have to admit, i'd be staring too if i was an onlooker!!! I round up the crew and decide after all of that, maybe i ought to stop in that mcdonalds and buy the kids some lunch and feed parker before getting back on the road. But this is what made me think...i should write a list. ANd so it is.

The things i swore i'd never do/or would always do when IIIII have kids:

1) my child will NEVER be screaming throwin him/herself on the floor in a public store.
Oh yes, i used to scour at those moms whose toddlers/preschoolers would be throwing themselves to the floor screaming bloody murder all while the mom looks like a crazy person dragging the child up. And then, low and behold, i find that not being able to run up and down aisles pulling cookies of shelves at target is the PERFECT reason for a usually well mannered 2 year old to throw self on floor and refuse to move while screaming. That dead weight is HEAVY i tell you! and it SCREAMS bloody murder when you try to move it!

2) I will NEVER bribe my kids with candy and cookies to get them to behave.
Oh yes i damn well will!! It's amazing what "if you please just sit still while i grocery shop i'll buy you a donut" will do for a child! And I'm not above using "if you eat 4 bites of that $8.54 cent meal i just bought for you that you said you wanted and now won't touch, i'll give you a marshmallow" line...

3) those kids leashes are SO rediculous i can't believe a parent would do that!
WRONG again! now i myself have not had to use a leash, but i have seen friends with kids that DEFINATELY benefited. There are some little angels that we moms like to refer to as "runners" that's right, you set that squirmy child down on the ground for a second and off they go tearing through airports, shoppin malls, zoos...and "just keep them in a stroller?" have you seen a "runner" sit still in a stroller for a long period of time?!? um NO! those leashes have their place!

4) the "i cant believe their parents let them go out in public like that!".
you know the child, the one who's hair is disheveled, wearing a pajama shirt with khaki pants and water shoes...peanut butter and jelly smeared on their face. Well, when you have 3 kids, getting out the door with all 3 kids actually making it in the car is a feat in itself! and imagine actually making it to your destination on time with all 3 kids, it's a miracle! so, i dont care what shoes are on, or if the hair looks like lightening struck the house, if everyone made it to the destination i consider it a success!!!

5) I won't use the tv as a babysitter. How irresponsible!
Praise our dear Lord and God for creating on demand. I set that thing to mickey mouse or special agent oso, and a miracle happens...I get to eat breakfast, and sometimes if i'm lucky i get to fit in an un-attended bathroom break!

and finally

6) i won't be one of those moms who gets together with other moms and has drinks while the children play.
ummm thank GOD for other "on the brink" mom friends who understand that by dinner time sometimes it's far more important to have some red wine while the kids pick at whatever carbohydrate based thrown together dinner they are having rather than creating a special bree vandecamp sit down meal. this is especially important when the husbands/dads are off God only knows where in this world "working" while we are "staying at home".

that's all for now. I don't even have a number for most things that happen around here, because most of the things i experience with 3 children i could never have imagined or knew existed. See story at beginning...
i would like to ad, that while i type this,(holding a sleeping parker) i hear "london bridge" playing over, and over, and over from some musical thing in this house and i have NO idea where it's coming from.

The Root Canal et al.

So, yesterday, i was subjected to having to get a root canal. Now, it has this dreaded reputation of being the worst thing on the planet. YOu know "i'd rather have a root canal than...." and that's usually to say that, that other thing is horrible! I have never had a root canal. I actually only have 3 cavities in my mouth, 3 fillings, each of which recently have gone to complete crap. Thus the need for a root canal on one of them. I'm so lucky. Anyway, i digress. The root canal was scheduled for 3;30 pm in Annapolis MD. I had matt taking a half day at work so that he could come along and watch the baby (and other 2) while i got it done since parker has a leash attached to my breast that only extends 1.5 hours during the day. The trip to annapolis from my house is about 1 hour and 15 minutes in no traffic...so you could see how the 1.5 hour time limit just wouldn't be happening. So just as we're getting ready to leave, andie decides to tell me she thinks she's going to throw up. Great. So now i have to switch gears. Matt stays with the threatening to puke andie and colin and i take the baby and have my sister in law meet me there to watch the baby. Thank GOD for a nice sister in law that was willing to stand and rock my baby during my appt.

I get there, and of course i feed the baby (my job), and then i get all numbed up. The numbing up, was the most BIZARRE dental numbing i've ever experienced...the second he injected i got shooting pains down my nerves to my tounge, every tooth, my cheek it was crazy...it was crazy gooood because i knew that pain meant he hit the nerves right and i would be NUMB. But that wasn't all, he then proceeded to inject right around the tooth that was getting done...i told him i didn't want to feel my head and he obliged ;) So, i had to wait 20 minutes he said after the injection to let it set in. I was MORE than happy to make sure that i was numb. So i head on out to the waiting room where my sil and the baby were sitting. Don't you know, i had to feed the baby again?!? he's a hungry little fella. Anyways, as i'm sitting there talking to my sil, she starts cracking up laughing because apparently as the seconds rolled by my face was becoming paralyzed on the one side...she said she's never seen anything like it, and she has been a dental assistant! I was proud of my drool, left lip droop and cheek paralyzation though, cuz i knew, oh yeah, that tooth, i wouldn't feel it! So as i'm looking rediculous, and feeding the baby, this poor poor woman in the seat acroos from us started questioning about every little step of the process, she was scared shitless of a root canal. Apparently she had one done THIRTY years ago, i assured her that the times have changed. Just as i say that, this happy guy comes strolling out of the back area into the waiting room and says "that was the smoothest, most painless root canal i've ever had". Can you say, THANK GOD, PRAISE THE LORD. I was happy to hear that.

Anyways, the baby is done eating, and im still waiting. Now i'm getting nervous because i've been waiting longer than that 20 minutes, so i think, crap that numbness is going to wear off. Lucky for me, i tell the assistant that when i go back there, and she assures me they will re-numb me. And Sure enough, Dr. Berman (the saint) put more injections around the tooth and it was completely numb. WOOO. Now, this man performed the root canal in 15 minutes tops. NO joke, he was in and out and sealed it up quicker than you can imagine. MUCH faster than a traditional filling even. THis guy was a root canal MACHINE. of course, he does these all day long...it's all he does. I can honestly say, i didn't feel anything. terrific. I won't say it's not a bit painful after the anesthetic wears off, but nothing 800 mg of ib profen can't help.

After the procedure, i decided to go out with my sil and baby to eat. well, watch her eat will i drink some soda. We get there, and it's a pub place (ramshead for those of you that have been to annapolis) it's not exactly filled with families, but that's ok. Of course baby parker being who he is, wants to eat. again. So, no shame to my game, i throw on a cover and feed him. Well, there was this table of 5, what seemed to be trial lawyers right next to us. I'm thinking, heck, they don't even know i'm feeding the baby..if anything they are probably noticing my droopy paralyzed face. But much to my surprise, they start talking to us when parker started crying. A man pipes up "a, just switch sides!" i'm like WHAAA???? Then he proceeds to go into conversation about mothers milk, and how england had just sold pints of breastmilk ice cream for 22 dollars. still shocked, i'm thinking, are they really talking about this right now?! then they pipe up "don't worry, there are 15 kids between us sitting here". OK, first, i wasn't worried, a baby has to eat when he has to eat, and i have no shame anymore. But then he goes on " i once got up in the middle of the night to eat some oreos, and I down what i thought to be regular milk and ended up drinking breastmilk, not bad!". Ok, this is getting weird. I just kinda did that awkward chuckle and decided it was time for the check.

I took my drooling self and my hungry baby and we headed out on our journey back to woodbridge. it's now 6:30 pm, so you'd think, eh, there shouldn't be much traffic by now!! WRONG. I sat in traffic for 30 minutes barely moving. Seriously nova?!?

and by the way, andie was FINE....i think matt bribed her to pretend to be sick so he didn't have to go! sneaky family...

a trip to the DMV...or 2.

There's not much that makes me want to write...but the DMV here in woodbridge does it.

I pull up in front of the place and notice, that yes, most of the what seems like 300 parking spots are filled outside of it. Now, you MIGHT ask yourself, as i do, why have so many parking spots when you KNOW they can't possibly handle that many people inside without having to have the said people wait for hours on end to get served. Good Questions! I say, put 15 spots in, and call it good, any more than that and you areally aren't providing a service, because those people REALLY don't want to park there anyway because once you get inside you'll just start seathing with frustration as you wait your turn in line to be served by someone that is most likely pissed off and incompetent. You may also be asking, why did I choose to proceed on going in today?! well simply i put off going for so long that my temporary tags expire tomorrow.

Now, as if i'm not already irritated to see that my wait time is going to be excrutiatingly painful with 2 kids, i unload them from the car and start dragging the carseat and clenching to my daughter's hand up the sidewalk, only to be greeted by some obama hating table with all sorts of paraphenlia on it and 2 spanish speaking people who seem to be in a heated discussion with another person standing at the table. Can someone tell me what the purpose of that demonstration is?!? I didn't know that political debating was a part of the DMV experience?!? Don't correct me if i'm wrong on exactly WHAT the material of that particular table was today, because i don't care, i just care that i had to walk past that annoyance just to get in a door to a place i really don't care to be in the first place!

We take our number, for the SECOND day in a row, because as if going once isn't enough, i never get out of the place the first time with the issue at hand taken care of. THere's always something i need that i didn't have or some rediculous stipulation that if you didn't read the fine print under the fine print on the internet site you would have no idea. We get F128...thanks for assigning all sorts of letters and numbers just to screw with peoples minds so they really can't tell how many people are in front of them. A - Gs, and then the numbers following...i really don't care if it makes it easier for them to tell what you are there for that way, just give a freakin number out and when you get to the desk then they can know why you are there. Does it throw them for a loop if they aren't mentally prepared ahead of time when you walk up there? Andie's being pretty good, you know circling the chairs, dancing around, screaming F 128 mom, F 128 over and over and not understanding why they are calling every other combination but ours. I'm rocking the baby in his carrier with my foot, probably a little too rough, but if i stop the rocking he cries and then we have a situation. While i'm waiting, i do find the crowd amusing, especially the quintisential woodbridge DMV person..you know, massively pregnant with half the stomach sticking out, low rider tight "skinny" jeans with rips in them to show the under layer of bright pink spandex, all finished off with a pair of huge black and white high top air jordans (didn't know they even still made those) and a toddler strapped into a tiny umbrella stroller. I digress.

Our number finally gets called and i go up to the counter all bubbly simply because i MADE it this far without any major complications like, public nursing in the dirty DMV, or major diaper blow outs or toddler peeing in her pants. It so far, has been a success...albeit 45 minutes AFTER we pulled our F128. The man at the counter is disgruntled, and to be honest, i probably would be too if i had to deal with person after person back to back all day long about motor vehicle issues. BUT then again, the difference is, i don't choose to work there, and he evediently does. So i can tell his demeanor is less than stellar. i tread lightly, just hand him the packet of stuff, which IM SURE is complete today since i was just there yesterday and told what i needed. After rifling through my stuff he has the nerve to tell me "oh, we need proof that your husband lives in Virginia since he has a PA license". REALLY!? you are going to turn me away AGAIN because you need PROOF that HE lives in Virginia?!?!? I threw a minor tantrum, but yet still controlled simply telling this man that i was just here yesterday, the woman told me all was fine with the copied driver licenses and never mentioned i'd need 1 of 20 different things of proof of residence, which this KIND man threw at me as he was ready to dismiss me. I say, here's my VA license, he's my husband, he lives with me. (for now anyway). "well, i'm sure he does, but that's not proof". Well THANK GOODNESS the man beside him said "she doesn't need that proof". This is where i'm starting to think this man is A) incompetent and B) just trying to piss me off. So bump one is passed. but then i look up at the clock and realize, i'm never going to make it intime to pick up my "thing 1" from preschool. So i get my phone out to call a friend to see if she could get colin while she also picks her son up that goes there as well. I'm on the phone for 30 seconds and disgruntled, mental, incompetent man says "i hate to say it, but you can't be on the phone near MY computer". I taken a back, quickly say i have to go to my friend because i'm getting in trouble and hang up. But then i get into a conversation about how being on my phone will crash the DMV's entire computer system. Yes, I, and my 2 minute conversation may crash the computer system. He went on to say "they are very sensitive". Well, then maybe i'd be doing you a favor to crash them, because for a business that depends on said computers, they really should have a less shotty system if you ask me! Time for an upgrade! Besides that, it's either my son is stranded at school, or your computer freezes. I'll choose option B thank you very much.

We finally make it out of there 1 hour 10 minutes after arrival. I would like to think it will be a very long time before i have to go back...i really have had my fill for a long time.

Life with 3

I thought it is FINALLY time i write an entry about my life with 3 kids. Sometimes, it's hard to believe that i actually have 3 kids. I always think that Parker must REALLY be meant to be here for a purpose because Parker was a "we'll try for 1 month" baby...we thought if it's meant to be it will be. ANd sure enough, 2 weeks after the "we'll just try this one time" i was pregnant!

I practically spent the first few months of that pregnancy trying to convince myself that i could handle 3 kids, and that colin and andie's life wouldn't be too disrupted etc. and trying not to flip out. I spent the last couple months trying to truly enjoy being pregnant since I knew this was the last time I'd ever be pregnant and experience it all. I had such an easy pregnancy that it was easy to enjoy it.

Once parker was born, i was overjoyed to have him here. Didn't even have a touch of the baby blues or anything. Colin and Andie really love their baby brother. Constantly kissing him, saying "he's the best baby in whole world mom" and "i really love him, and he loves me" and "he's so fluffy" or "he's so adorable mom!" But it wasn't all roses at the beginning. There were many mornings where i felt like i was treading water in the middle of the ocean, nearly drowning. Between feeding the baby every hour or so, andie going through a total potty training regression...which means poop on the floor, pee in pants, and colin demanding i feed him him all day it was exhausting. My favorite would be the kids flooding the bathroom with the sink water, the dog shredding whatever non-edible object he could find on a bedroom floor all while i'm trying to feed the baby. I usually ended up just throwing my very own tantrum...totally not above that! things have really calmed down now and i've learned that with 3 young children, there's always going to be ONE that doesn't have their needs met at any one given specific time. I simply can't be in 3 places at once, doing 3 things at once although i do try. I have been known to nurse parker, put andie on the potty and throw toys at colin all at the same time.

Speaking of nursing, i'm proud to report that colin knows the ins and outs of not only the art of breast feeding, but the subsequent pumping, infections, leaking, storage of milk. I will have to kindly remind him in the future that when he was 4, he believed that breasts were meant only to feed babies. he gets very concerned for parker and will yell for me to get my breasts. he has explained to doctors about my leaking, and has been known to ask "do you have too much milk mom? let me get the pump". It's kind of disturbing and cute all at the same time. I'm sure some day the thought of this will completely horrify him.

In the end of January, a piece of my soul died. I got a minivan. I fought it with every fiber of my being, but having 3 kids under 4 makes the task of finding a more suitable vehicle nearly impossible. I curse at the thing every time it skids on a tiny flaking of snow. I'm that mom now that has a gaggle of kids that pour out of the van, all screaming, throwing food, and smashing said food into floor carpets of the van. All i'm missing is the Fish symbol on that back, an anti-abortion bumper sticker, and the little white figurine family on the back window. No, i don't plan to do any of those things, in fact i plan to "pimp" out my van with racing stripes. Not kidding. It will happen.

Now, i do have a triple stroller which i have to use when i go out with all 3, colin calls it the space shuttle. I call it the bus. Either way, it's one long, heavy son of a gun. If I got 5 cents for each time i've got the comment "whoa that's the biggest thing i've ever seen" or "you really have your hands full" or "you do know how that happens right?" (while pointing to parker while my other 2 are fighting screaming, and pulling each others hair) i would be rich. Do you think i have my hands full? wierd, i thought this was easy! and no, i nearly 30 have NO idea how procreation happens...maybe i need to be educated. While i know it's NOT easy, it's a complete joy (most of the time).

So far, i know these couple of things:

1) you can never pack enough snacks.

2) you can never pack enough spair outfits, for yourself, the baby, and the toddler.

3) you can never pack enough valium.

4) you can't take anything too seriously, because at the end of the day, if the kids are alive and happy my job has been completed successfully.